Week 5: Time
I had a change of heart this weekend. I thought for an extended period of time about this blog, and about the way I have been approaching it. And, I think it’s time for a bit of a redirect. Up to this point, my blogs have been about weekly recaps on what I’ve been up to throughout the week, and details about how my runs have been progressing. This week has just felt different, and I felt as though I needed to reflect that with a more explorational post.
I think a part of me was inspired when I saw the movie Arrival on Tuesday. I’m going to do my best not to spoil it for those of you that haven’t seen it. It’s a beautiful movie, and I truly mean that adjective. There’s such a densely curious tone, and there’s so much to unpack about the movie, that I was contemplating so many of director Denis Villeneuve’s decisions long after I left the theater. And I could go into many of those decisions, but that’s more of a topic for a film theory course at Waubonsee Community College.
Instead, I’d like to focus on one particular motif: time. There are several different techniques that Villeneuve uses to distort and bend the element of time. He often flashes back to different points throughout the main character’s life (or are they flash forwards?) to illustrate the duality of different events in differing timelines. There’s a central idea here that time is abstract, and that it’s non-linear in nature; there really is no beginning and end. Instead, there is just, time. It exists all around us, but it doesn’t exist in the nature we perceive it.
It’s difficult to explain without showing Villeneuve's hand, but the message that he attempts to convey is that the experience, and the way we value our present moments, outweighs the limitations that time places on our lives. That is to say, if you value the moment then the moment will always be worth the time.
The concept of time is something that remains at the forefront of every runner’s mind. How much time do I have to fit my run into my daily routine? What time did I finish that split in? What is my current pace? How do I trim my race time? Time slowly constricts itself around a runner’s mind, and the suffocation can become debilitating if a runner allows it. In the quest to escape time, to elude it, a runner can drive themselves towards an unattainable goal.
I noticed in a few of my mile runs this week that I was beginning to allow this theory to creep into my own head space. Every half mile my Fitbit app will kindly (or not so kindly depending on how I’m feeling the music) cut into my headphones with a friendly reminder of my time. How nice of you Fitbit to remind me of just how lethargic my feet have been carrying my body. Thank you, oh so much.
In the couple of mile long runs that I had to end my week (Thursday and Saturday), my Fitbit app interrupted my regularly scheduled programming to announce half-mile splits of 3:52 and 3:56, respectively. Usually, I’ve been disregarding these time intervals, but on these two runs something felt different. I’ve been running for five weeks now, and it has been difficult to understand if I’m actually taking any steps forward in my training, or at least it’s hard to tell if my time is taking any strides forward. So, when these two splits were announced, I rapidly created a new goal for myself: break an 8:00 mile.
That isn’t exactly the same type of goal that Roger Bannister had, but it was still a way to push myself, nonetheless. I attempted to increase my pace even though I wasn’t sure how to effectively do that. My lungs contracted and retracted quicker than they had before. My feet and calves grew more tense, and ached harder. I pushed myself to my physical limits in the darkness of an autumn chill. As I saw the porch light grow closer, I knew that my goal was in reach. Each time that I crossed my illusionary finish line the phone read, 8:04 and 8:06. No dice.
After each run, I threw my hands to my knees in anguish. My chest heaved, and my legs did a slight shimmy shake. I walked out the last 200 feet or so of my workout, my own personal cooldown, and I came back into the house disappointed.
Over the course of this week, I started to think about what type of pace I was going to set for this marathon. Ya know, the one that’s a year away. And I started to think about the plus 8:00/per mile pace I currently run. I couldn’t imagine running the marathon that slow, and I couldn’t imagine how I would seemingly get that much faster. It was a disheartening self critique.
So I continued on with this mopey behavior for much of Saturday night. Then, for whatever reason, Arrival popped back into my head when I was lying in bed. I thought about time. I thought about how so much of our lives are predicated on how much time we do, or don’t, have; what kind of a restriction that puts on the satisfaction we feel in our daily events. So often, time consumes a runner until they forget entirely about how their body feels when they run. Do their lungs open to capacities that they never imagined before? Does their core tighten itself, and secure their body like a force of nature? Does the burn in their legs ooze with the benefits of arduous labor? We ignore these sensations, and instead hold ourselves accountable to minutes and seconds.
I came to that realization that night, and I think it was a valuable lesson to learn. Time is not important now. This marathon will take shape so progressively that I’ll barely notice the changes. And, when it comes time to worry about the minutes and seconds, perhaps the meaning will be far less than what I had originally imagined. Perhaps the journey, and my body, will tell a much different story than the time it takes me to complete this race. Maybe instead of focusing on 3:30:00, I should be focusing on each individual step of the more than 1,000,000 I’ll take along this route. I should focus on the ache, the pain, and the ultimate triumph of each breath that I take. I should hold it and savor it. I should realize that it’s all a part of a trip that can stretch far beyond one single time.
Week 5 Breakdown:
Mileage
Week: 5 Miles
Total: 16 1/2 Miles
Daily Mileage/Playlists:
Monday: 2 Miles
Playlist: Whitney - Light Upon the Lake. Upon first listen, Whitney hits all of the idyllic tropes of 60’s and early 70’s AM radio pop-rock. That’s quite a mouthful of a description, but Whitney is somehow able to compress all of that nostalgia in to their sound. The melodies are light, the falsetto of the lead vocals is rich in melancholy, and the lyrical content consists of driving around with the windows down. Tell me something that gets more retro Cadillac and bell bottom than that? Although, the transcendent thing about Whitney’s debut album is that it never seems to get lost in it’s own allusions. Max Kakacek and Julien Ehrlich (the two founding members of the band) created Whitney as an homage to days gone by, but they bring their own modern interpretations to classic folk, country, and Chicago soul techniques. The result is a brisk and breezy 10 song album that clocks in at just under 30 minutes. It’s a fleeting record, but the songs stay with you long after they dissipate from your headphones. You’ll be humming familiar harmonies for days after you listen. Come check out their shows at Thalia Hall on Dec. 3rd and 4th. I’ll be there for the Saturday show.
Tuesday: 1 Mile
Playlist: Pup - The Dream is Over. I couldn’t help the feeling that I needed a hard hitting punk album to listen to on Tuesday. For some reason it was just inescapable. So, I did what any sane music junky would do: I checked out www.albumoftheyear.org. I stumbled upon The Dream is Over, which I had heard about from some people on the ole’ social media pages. I decided to give it a spin. That was a good decision. Pup is part punk, a dash of emo lyricism, and straight forward walls of sound. It’s one of those albums that makes you yearn to be in a pit somewhere, feeling bodies bounce off of you as you try to breathe through the throng of limbs. It’s sneaky successful lyrically, and the payoff after the 10 songs you wade through is completely satisfying. Pup is a phenomenal band to help you get your rocks off.
Thursday: 1 Mile
Playlist: Tobacco - Sweatbox Dynasty. Admittedly, this was a random ass pick for a run soundtrack. I had heard of Tobacco before, but I had never actually listened to Thomas Fec’s analog synth wielding solo project. If you’ve never heard Tobacco, I’m not sure I’m the authority to give you a break down on his music. I did just say this was the first thing I’ve listened to, and he has countless other albums and eps floating in the digital spectrum. But, I’ll still go on with my initial opinions, nonetheless: good, but not great. I like how Fec uses a more down tempo, sometimes borderline drone electronic, sound. Yet, at the same time he’s able to incorporate some elements of hip-hop, and mixes in some subtle trap techniques that follows the former genre. It’s by no means a mind numbing level of terrible, and it actually provided a pretty eventful soundtrack to the run. It just never really blew me away. Let’s put it this way; if I was ever at a festival he played, I’d at least check out 20 minutes.
Friday: 1 Mile
Playlist: Justice - Woman. France: baguettes, wine, and great dance duos. That should be the official tourism slogan. Call me France. Justice offer an unsurprising, and straightforward approach on their newest release. It sounds similar to all of their other work; including a special blend of disco, pop, industrial techno, and a hint of hard rock. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel. And it’s still awesome. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” is what my dad always use to tell me. Despite what some critics are saying about the Parisian duo, the formula for this dance duo’s success is still ripe after a decade’s worth of tunes. “Safe and Sound” explodes on the opening track with a vivaciousness that many disco producers would be jealous of. “Randy” is unabashed pop fund, and there’s enough here to add a layer of depth this non-stop boogie marathon. Color me a fan of this latest release, and I can only hope a Chicago date is added on an upcoming tour.
-Ryan